12/21/08 - 12/28/08

Saturday, December 27, 2008

Sleeping With the Enemy: Week 17 -- Shakespearian Edition

Photo: AP

In the immortal words of Shakespeare, we say our goodbyes tomorrow at Heinz Field in much the same way. Who would have thought that Juliet's touching goodbye to Romeo would be echoed in a meaningless Week 17 NFL Football game?

Sweet, so would I,
Yet I should kill thee with much cherishing.
Good night, good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow,
That I shall say good night till it be morrow.

Sadly, with temperatures in the 50's, we will probably not get to see Mr. Crennel in his best attire -- the puffy coat. However, it is an odd feeling to go into a game knowing you are seeing a farewell. Crennel's firing is a forgone conclusion as he plans to meet with Browns owner Randy Lerner next week.

It's sad to see a coach go. Especially when the Steelers are 7-0 against him. I'm not sure why the national media is assuming 8-0 already, but they say that the Steelers second-teamers are significantly better than the Brownies first. That's not even funny. That's just sad.

Here's to you Romeo. You weren't as competitive as Schottenheimer, as fun to beat as Butch Davis or as invisible as Chris Palmer. But all in all, you were the epitome of Browns coachingness ... a guy with far too little to work with and the lack of ingenuity to win with what you had. Always, though, there was a good sportsmanlike handshake after each loss. Best of luck.

The Cleveland Plain Dealer explains the Browns ineptitude against the Steelers. Andra Davis summarizes his first rivalry game, "It put us in position to win with a field goal, but they blocked the field goal," Davis said. "And then they kick a field goal and we block it. But they recover and because they kicked on third down, they kick it again and make it [to win, 13-10]." LOL
It could be Browns LB Willie McGinest's final game too.
FireRomeoCrennel.com hasn't been updated since January. (Motto: Nice guy, crappy coach.) Well, it was updated once in late November to announce it was for sale. Good luck with that.
I'm giving thanks that I don't have a blog about a fourth-string starting quarterback and how a defensive lineman punched my franchise QB in the face and when, not if, my coach would be fired. But the guys at Browns Gab do a good job with it anyway.

Friday, December 26, 2008

Coach Mike's Bad Santa Follow Up

In case you haven't had your holiday dose of uncomfortableness (I know that's not a word), here's a Youtube clip of the weird Santa press conference that prompted a new policy outlawing Santa from Steelers press conferences.

Other things that will be outlawed include the Easter Bunny, The Tooth Fairy, any questions about the punting situation, Mrs. Claus (just in case) and any answers not in the form of cliches.

Thank you, Steelers Management.

Delete this and add your body..

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Wishing You a Terrible Christmas ... Good 'N Terrible

'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the city;

Fans were all stirring, all filled with pity.

Just the night before, the Pens scored no goals;

we wondered, "Is this roster all full of holes?"

And at the Southside Complex, there arose quite a clatter;

as Coach Mike crashed the offensive meeting, "What the hell is the matter?"

A Finals Trip and a bye, for these things we don't care;

We're the City of Champs, we want the hardware!

Away to the windows I flew with a flash,

Tore open the window and threw up the sash.

Just then, what to my wonderous eyes might appear;

but a group of the guys that make us all cheer.

"Hi DeJuan, hi Ben, hi Evgeni, hi Sidney!

What's up Shady, Troy, Hines Ward and Fast Willie?"

They stared into the moonlight and said not a word,

As questions from each window soon could be heard.

You've given so much, but we want so much more.

Another Lombardi, a Cup, maybe a Final Four.

They all gave thumbs up and then just walked out of sight,

Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!

Delete this and add your body..

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Coach Mike's Bad Santa Experience

photo: AP

With a half day of work today, I was happy to catch Tomlin's press conference on the way home. Instead, though, when I turned on the radio (both ESPN and FOX) -- all I heard was a weird Christmas skit with Coach Mike's nervous laughter in the background.

It was so weird and uncomfortable to listen to that I popped in a CD and kept checking back until it was over. Apparently, Tomlin felt the same way.

If you read the story and didn't hear the press conference, Tomlin might come off as a party pooper. But, believe me, he was a good sport. Bill DiFabio was rambling on and on like he was star of the Bob Saget roast, but he sounded more like the drunk uncle giving an uninspired wedding toast than Gilbert Gottfried.

Apparently, this is a Pittsburgh media tradition that will come to an end.

Maybe the Fedko Zone can go with it.

Merry Christmas

Our gift to our loyal readers...

From Mike Quick's Cosby sweater, to Randall Cunningham's blazer, to the weird white dude with aviator sunglasses and a porn 'stache, nothing and I mean NOTHING beats Luis Zendejas' flow. Or his sweater vest. Dear god.

WIWUT: Take It Any Way Possible

Good morning... so the Penguins got a win last night, and the way they did it took a video goal judge, a call to Toronto and a thumbs up from Chuck Norris (see image above, from Dodgeball). When you are in a scoring slump like Sidney Crosby has been, 9 games without a goal, you will gladly take a goal like this, any way possible.

For those who didn't see the game (Pens over Sabres, 4-3 in OT), Sid took a Malkin slap-pass and deflected it in 43 seconds into overtime.. the issue was whether or not it was a high stick on Sid's part.

It wasn't, the Pens got a win.. and play the Tampa Bay Penguins tonight.

More stories from the game, and what I woke up to.. after the JUMP.

PG: Dave Mollinari recaps Pens/Sabres from the HSBC Arena..

PG: Watch out Yankees.. the Buccos just broke the bank on resigning... Ryan Doumit.

FanIQ: Brady Quinn takes a blast to the face.. and no, it's not what you think.

ESPN: Jeff Fischer OK with players doin' the "A-Town Stomp" on the Terrible Towel.. Bill Cowher? Not so much..

Monday, December 22, 2008

Monday Morning Back-Up Defensive Lineman - Week 16

Oh, the challenge of writing an opening for the MMBUDL after the first Steelers loss since its inception. In the time honored tradition of American ingenuity (a fancy word for laziness), I offer you the following which is the quintessential summary for how Steelers fans felt after yesterday’s setback:

I imagine that Dan Rooney is a lot like Otter in many ways. Maybe not, but at least he probably owns the same car (though it’s now financed out the wazoo).

“FUNKY BUTT-LOVIN’!” Did he just say “funky butt-lovin?”: Earlier in the week, a “journalist” from the four letter network had the audacity to rank the 2008 Pittsburgh Steelers defense at #3 on the list of top 10 defenses in the history of the National Football League. That, friends, is what we call “hype.” On several occasions yesterday, it was unclear whether or not the Steelers were the #3 defense in the AFC conference during this particular season. A lone fourth down play in the second half should be quite enough to dispel all of this “hype.”

No, not the Chris Johnson touchdown. Though when you have a running back who weighs a scant 200 lbs and runs a 4.2 40, it would be pretty hard to conceive that he would run up the middle on 4th and inches. Especially on the #3 defense in the history of the National Football League. No, it’s the other fourth down play…4th and 3 at about the Steelers 30 yard line in the second half. A play action pass to the only receiver of note for the Titans yesterday, Justin Gage, when the lone viable component of the infamous radio trio “Haynes, McFadden and Madden,” was caught looking into the backfield and had a pass completed over his head. It made viewers uncomfortable for two reasons. One, the #3 defense in the history of the National Football League should not have defensive backs looking into the backfield on fourth and more than a yard against the stoutest of run defenses. Two, it made us collectively pine for Gay. William that is. Black gold. Texas teed.

No Football Team Left Behind: The second iteration of the MMBUDL’s new segment will carry on with an appropriate theme this week. “A Comparative Analysis of Situational Comedy: 80’s Sitcoms and the 2008 Pittsburgh Steelers versus the Tennessee Titans,” sponsored by Zack Morris:

Quarterback: ben roethlisberger sure did look a lot like Gordon Shumway yesterday. Remember that ALF came to Earth by crashing inside of the Tanner’s suburban garage… very similar to the way that ben came crashing to the Earth after fumbling at the one-foot-line on his ill-fated attempt at diving into the endzone. Like ALF, ben seemed unaccustomed to the cultural taboos of his surroundings…namely protecting the football. The poor, beleaguered QB was so confused that I think he also may have tried to eat a cat last night.

Running Back: A three headed series that was doomed from the start and eventually cancelled due to bad ratings? How about Valerie, which became Valerie’s Family: The Hogans, which became The Hogan Family. This included a jump between networks, consistently declining ratings and persistent changes as the star of the show (Valerie Harper to Sandy Duncan to Willie Parker to Mewelde Moor…wait).

Wide Receiver: Clearly the best performing unit during the game yesterday, this group was most certainly at the Head of the Class. Very talented group of individuals that simply needed the appropriate motivation to take on their staunchest rivals, be they Bronx Science or Chris Hope and the Tennessee secondary. Steelers Offense, Lethal Weapon 10 and a matter of fecal were actually above standard yesterday, the lone beacon of light in an otherwise gloomy day.

Offensive Line and Tight End: Including backups and all three active TE’s, yesterday was nothing more than a rerun of Just the Ten of Us. Every week, this show was simply what fans came to expect, a miscommunication and confusion between way too many people in the same space. Calamity ensues. Misunderstanding between mentor and mentee. Valuable lesson learned at the end. The lesson from this week’s episode: maybe we should pay a little more attention to the offensive line in the off-season.

Defensive Line: The main character is rotund, and though the show was somewhat underrated, on occasion Mr. Belvedere was a disappointment. Despite sharing similarly androgynous names (Casey and Lynn), Mr. Belvedere delivered the goods more often than not. But there were occasions when he did not.

Linebacker: All of the psychotherapy in the world and applied theory could not have helped James Harrison and the Steelers LB corps from experiencing some Growing Pains yesterday. I imagine in the huddle that James Farrior is very Thicke-like in his approach to mentorship…but he still had an overachieving dork (Larry Foote), a mischievous son (James Harrison) and a meathead (LaMarr Woodley) that he could never quite corral and form into upstanding beings on the field yesterday.

Defensive Back: Devoid of any magic, maybe our loyal readers will think it’s a stretch to insinuate that the defensive backfield was anything like Night Court yesterday. But it was high, slapstick comedy with miscreants roaming in and out, leaving Ike “Bull” Taylor to simply mutter “Ooo-kay.” Even Polamalu’s no-nonsense Roz impersonation was not enough to set the record straight.

Future Insights from the Big Screen: The movie quotes that inspired a sports weekend:

“Shit, defense is gonna have to pitch shutouts now!” - Alvin Mack (The Program) talking to Dick LeBeau following an offensive offensive performance by the Pittsburgh Steelers in their week 16 loss to the Tennessee Titans.

“Sometimes when you win, you really lose, and sometimes when you lose, you really win, and sometimes when you win or lose, you actually tie, and sometimes when you tie, you actually win or lose. Winning or losing is all one organic mechanism, from which one extracts what one needs.” - Gloria Clemente (White Men Can’t Jump) explaining to Mike Tomlin the ramifications of a potential road AFC Championship game and the meaning of yesterday’s contest.

“All right people, we got 10 minutes 'till game time, let's all gather 'round. I'm not much for giving inspirational addresses, but I'd just like to point out that every newspaper in the country has picked us to finish last. The local press seems to think that we'd save everyone the time and trouble if we just went out and shot ourselves. Me, I'm for wasting sportswriters' time. So I figured we ought to hang around for a while and see if we can give 'em all a nice big shitburger to eat!” – Lou Brown (Major League) giving Detroit Head Coach Rod Marinelli the text for his pregame speech yesterday to the now historic 0-15 Lions.

Lies, Damned Lies and Statistics: With a victory this upcoming weekend against the Cleveland Browns, the Pittsburgh Steelers will finish the regular season with a record of 12-4. The Steelers have finished 12-4 only two other times in the era of the 16 game NFL schedule. Those seasons included:

1994 – When the Steelers won the AFC Central Division, had an offense ranked 16th out of 28 teams, and the #2 defense. You will remember this as the season of Alfred Pupunu and the Chargers getting smoked in Super Bowl XXIX by the 49ers. Other interesting parallels with this team:

- The Steelers did not have one dominant rusher in that particular year, with Bam Morris and Barry Foster splitting carries and responsibilities, and both ending up with modest yardage and touchdown totals.
- Neil O’Donnell having an average season for an NFL QB, including 13 TDs and 9 picks, to go along with a pedestrian 2443 yards passing in 14 games started. Mike Tomczak started the other two contests (winning both, throwing for 4 TDs and no INTs).
- Kevin Greene and Greg Lloyd were a dynamic outside LB duo, combining for 24 sacks in a much less sack happy era.
- Mark Royals averaged less than 40 yards (39.7) per punt.

1979 – Like the 2008 Steelers, the 1979 Steelers dropped the next to last regular season game to the Oilers/Titans franchise on the road before finishing up at home against a lowly opponent. You will remember this as the season that the Steelers won their fourth Super Bowl, the last of the Chuck Noll era. Unlike this season, however, they had the top ranked offense in the game to couple with the #5 defense.

Finally, the Happy Thought of the Week: In mid-January, a distinguished non-Caucasian man will have a chance to set a new course for a nation, attempting to right the follies of the previous administration. Despite set-backs and shortfalls, an eloquent and emotional leader will emerge from seemingly nowhere to become significant and powerful. And in unison, this man will have the Steelers Nation believing in each other again and rallying behind one simple phrase...

WIWUT: 1 Out Of 3

(Photo Credit: AP Photo/Mark Humphrey)

Good morning everybody. My god it's cold out.. Just a quick update this morning before I head to the car dealership.. the dreaded "Check Engine" light just popped up on my ride and Christ only knows what that could mean.

So yeah, the Steelers really showed me a lot yesterday. As mentioned pretty much everywhere by now.. when the defense doesn't play like the best defense in the league, bad things will happen. The Steelers allowed 323 total yards.. so that streak is out the window. Kerry Collins looked like he was taking snaps in Happy Valley all over again (20-29, 1 TD, 0 TO) and well, Ben looked like... a bad version of Ben (26-40, 2 TD, 2 INT, 2 F).

More after the jump.. with what I woke up to, and the lone highlight of the Pittsburgh sports pre-Christmas weekend.

So the title of this week's WIWUT is "1 Out Of 3"... and time to talk about the solo "1". Pitt basketball marched, well probably flew, down to Tallahassee, Florida and beat the Florida State Seminoles 56-48. And that game WAS closer than the score shows.

Sam Young continues to be a MAN.. 21 pts, 7 rbs.. and DeJuan Blair gets another double-double with 10 and 12. FSU was 11-1 to start the season and this rare non-conference challenge by the Panthers should spring board them quite nicely into conference play.

And onto the second loss of the weekend for Pittsburgh.. then Pens/Maple Leafs clunker. The Penguins got taken down, 7-3. And besides Malkin's gorgeous goal, not much to talk about there.

OK, a new week is ahead.. we do have Christmas this Thursday, and due to the normal sports news slow down, expect the blog to look a little light this week.

ESPN: James Walker weighs in on the Steelers getting pounded.

The PG: Ed Bouchette uses the words "flat" and "manhandled".. and that's just in the title.

The PG: Ron Cook uses these stats to make his point, "Parker and the running game were so ineffective that, if you throw out his 13-yard run in the first quarter, he had 17 carries for 16 yards." That's not good.

ESPN: Their recap of the Pitt/FSU game.

ESPN: Did you know Sid has just broken the ALL-TIME vote total for the ALL-STAR game?

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Titans 31, Steelers 14: Panic Time?

pic: tennessean.com

The defense had its worst game. All of the offensive blemishes came screaming to the surface. And, for once in a long while, it cost them.

Add it all up and what's the damage? If both teams get there, the Titans would host the AFC Championship game.

Any advantages? The Steelers have the option of two weeks of rest because next week's game is meaningless. And, maybe, this is one of those losses a team needs to bring the ego down a peg and focus toward the playoffs.

Thoughts on where this puts the Steelers on the jumpside...

So wipe the defensive monster slate clean:

The Titans rushed for a combined 117 yards.
Tennesee had 323 total yards.
The offense doesn't look so "clutch" anymore: 4 turnovers to none is an awful recipe on the road.
The offensive line made defensive tackle Jason Jones look like Albert Haynesworth. The rookie had 3 1/2 sacks and a fumble recovery.

So, tell us, Steelers Nation. What does this all mean?

My thoughts. Lemme Dennyify this -- the Steelers are what we thought they were. A very good defense with a very average, at best, offense.

They are a good team in a lump of good teams that includes Tennessee, Baltimore, New England, Indianapolis and Miami. I don't think the Steelers are heads and shoulders above any of these teams.

You want to argue that they are elite? Here's some non-elite parts of the Steelers repertoire:

They need to take care of the ball. A lot of inopportune fumbles and picks.
Lack the ability to pick up third and shorts and extend drives.
Special teams. (And Reed has been good all year, but tying the game at 10-10 is a momentum-changing opportunity.)
Offensive play calling. Long, slow developing draw plays against the Titans? Have you watched game film? Why don't you just kneel on the ball?

This doesn't mean the Steelers are done. It means they are flawed. Who else is flawed? The Titans, Ravens, Pats, Colts and Dolphins.

Three weeks 'til tourney time, baby.

Take a look around the league. There are a dozen teams still begging for a shot. That's what the Steelers have. And, one thing is certain, they'll have to be better than this.

The Week 16 Tailgate: The Fisher/Wannstedt Stacheoff

photos: AP

Every time I look at either of these guys, I think of the episode of Cheers when they all tried to grow the best beards and then soaked up as much beer as they could in them. I know, beards and mustaches are two different animals...but I'd still like to see this match up. My early line? Fisher by 3 1/2. I'd buy off the hook.

On we go with the tailgate....

Here is a nice little checklist rundown preview of the game from The Tennessean. The only sections I would take issue with are the secondaries and wide receiver/tight end. I think both of these could be switched and are at least a wash. The Steelers secondary is quite underrated at this point and the WRs and TEs still need to prove that they are playmakers in the first three quarters.

More nuggets after the jump....

Maybe you've been following the fascinatingly boring debate between Titans and Carolina running backs about who should get to keep the nickname "Smash and Dash". If you haven't, the Tennesseean blog has a post about it.

This prompted me to wonder if Parker and Moore needed a nickname. But according to Section 8, Bylaw 3a of Sonny's Side Made-Up-As-I-Go Rules, you need to be in the top ten in the league in something to have a nickname. 23rd in leagues deserves no nickname. 3.6 yds. carry is fourth from the bottom.

Bouchettes's PG about the new comeback kid. Interesting stat -- Ben has 3.6 comeback wins per season against 2.9 for Elway (who had an amazing 47 for his career). The one unwritten question? Wouldn't you be better off playing on a mediocre team to set that mark? In order to make a comeback you need to be down in the fourth quarter. Conclusion: I'd rather that Ben becomes known as the "Up-By-3-Touchdowns Kid".

Other quick hits:

I know I'm cynical, but I've heard Ben say something like "I'm not big on rah, rah speeches. The guys just know what we have to do...etc." like 1,200 times this week. Reporters asked him and he responded. I get it. But you don't hear the defense making all sorts of heady proclamations and they are the truly exceptional unit.
This is the morning to watch ESPN. Dick Lebeau's "Night Before Christmas" and "The Worst Game Ever Played". http://www.theterribleblog.com/2008/12/sonnys-side-random-hump-day-ramblings.html
Last week, I looked for the WRs to step it up and they did (if only for one drive). Today, I'm looking for the tight ends to work themselves back into the passing game and for both Parker and Moore to combine for over 125 yards. This would be a good performance against the Titans and even with key players out, a good measuring stick for whether the offense it ready to be balanced in the postseason.
I don't do predictions, but I do wishes. I want two offensive touchdowns in the first half. The defense doesn't complain, but after how this season has gone, doesn't the offense owe the defense some points to work with?

Labels

Terrible Partners