Monday, January 12, 2009
Monday Morning Back-Up Defensive Lineman - Divisional Playoff Edition
All week long I have talked with theterribleblog.com staff about my personal preference for a return trip to Tennessee for the AFC Championship game. Over the last two decades (and Turrible can’t believe that he can remember with great clarity the last two decades of Steelers football…our butts are getting old), the Steelers haven’t fared very well at home in such contests. Another crack at a team where the Steelers would have a chip on their shoulder, a fast track for the defense and fan support out the wazoo due to the “towel incident,” seemed to Turrible the best way for the Steelers to punch their ticket to Super Bowl Polamalu (can we all agree that the Steelers’ fifth title was won in Super Bowl Myron Bell?).
That sentiment was expressed long before what I witnessed from the celery green sectional couch at the Turrible Cave yesterday. I’m still not exactly sure how that victory happened transpired. The offensive line, often resembling the weathered, wooden screen door that you might find at the malt shop in Money for Nutting’s Mayberry analogy earlier this week, kept ben’s jersey clean on the way to piling up 165 rushing yards on 42 totes. For his part, ben looked adept…maneuvering around the pocket, firing strikes to his much-maligned receiving corps…who in turn had the audacity to catch the ball in big situations. Heath Miller was prominently involved in the offense. I saw a fullback at points yesterday. Who was that offense that was wearing the black and gold yesterday, and where had they been all season long? This victory was about the Steelers offense, as prolific in its ball possession as it has ever been and productive to the tune of four TD’s.
Now, World War III has been scheduled for 6:30 P.M. in Pittsburgh, PA on Sunday, January 18, 2009. Unfortunately, the Ravens do not have the 25th ranked defense in the National Football League traveling to Heinz this coming Sunday. But when they arrive at the confluence, are they going to be visiting the 22nd ranked offense in the NFL that they saw twice this season…or the best playoff-type offense remaining in the NFL playoff bracket that was on display yesterday?
One is the Loneliest Number That You’ll Ever Do: Much has been made about the domination that was Steelers v. Chargers, 2008 Divisional Playoff Game, third quarter. There were other plays in the game that our CBS announcing crew of Chris Burke and Dr. Phil McGraw tabbed as back-breaking, gut wrenching plays. Lethal Weapon 10’s punt return, Willie Parker’s 16 yard TD run…but the biggest play of the entire game was the lone offensive play that the San Diego Super Chargers ran in the third quarter.
Turrible, on the phone with terribleblogger Jim Dunn, advised that the number one defense in the NFL would do well to create a turnover, just as Darren Sproles was collecting the kickoff after the Steelers go up 21-10. After the lengthy return, Mr. Dunn thanked Turrible for calling and rushed off of the phone, angrily muttering what an idiot Turrible was under his breath. Looking for a quick strike, Rivers drops back to pass from the Steelers 24 yard line, a place on the field in which doing nothing on three downs and kicking a field goal would bring you back to within a score. Looks left to one receiver on a timing route, decides to fire a pass that is deflected into the air by Diesel…with the fluttering deflection gathered in by Larry Foote with an assist from the NFL Defensive Player of the Year.
Even though the resulting drive did not amount to much, the Steelers benefitted from another Trojan-enz Boner of the Week award candidate Eric Weddle on Mitchell W. Berger’s punt that set the Steelers up for the nail-in-the-coffin score. Bottom line, very difficult to score points against the Steelers this season. Extremely difficult when you only have one offensive play in the quarter. This, according to Corky and Dr. Phil, is what good teams do. (Special shout out to friend of the blog S. Ellsworth who texts Turrible with the following at 7:30 P.M. on 1/11/09: “I’d like to tar & feather Simms, then shoot a salvo of crossbows into his chest!” Agreed.)
No Football Team Left Behind: The divisional playoff round of No Football Team Left Behind (where we grade the Steelers not by grades, but by a random assortment of analogies) will pay homage to a Western PA tradition, which is almost as old as the concept of “Steelers Football,” and Dick LeBeau. This week: “The Flava of Love (and Victory),” sponsored by Quaker Steak and Lube :
Quarterback: The performance yesterday was vintage ben roethlisberger, mistake-free and fulfilling. He made plays when he had to, threw the ball efficiently and in no way left a bad taste in our mouths. His Medium wing-flavored performance was indeed classic, with a little bit of bite following the concussion and a week full of people who doubted that he was half the quarterback he used to be.
Running Back: Willie Parker was all Premium Garlic yesterday, with some red chile spiciness and a full garlic punch. His tasty performance, 27 carries for 146 yards and two scores, was reminiscent of days seemingly long gone at points this season. He had speed, power, vision and patience. He waited for plays to develop, saw a hole and hit it like Spencer tagging Heidi. More of that please.
Wide Receiver: Going to have to double up for this one to pay homage to Steelers Offense, who turned in a sweet Asian Sesame performance yesterday, and Lethal Weapon 10, who had just the right smooth, fiery and sweet flavor (and appropriate alma mater) to have a Buckeye BBQ type of day. With the one man pooh crew of Nate Washington, and the enigma that is Limas Sweed dropping balls yesterday, it was nice to see two talented veterans turn in such a wholesome, satisfying performance.
Offensive Line and Tight End: Between running the ball, protecting ben and getting Heath Miller involved in the passing game, there is little doubt that the offensive lines and tight ends turned in a Honey Mustard effort against the Chargers…a sweet blend pass blocking and run blocking that has been virtually non-existent this entire season.
Defensive Line: The RMoNB, Diesel and A. Smith turned in a SuperCharged (no link, new flavor) effort yesterday that was extremely hot, but only for the football nuts. This unit continues to be underappreciated because of their roles in the LeBeau scheme and the fact that they have 2-3 perennial pro-bowl type players playing behind them. But that effort yesterday was extraordinary, containing Darren Sproles with his running, causing disruption in passing game…and as always making the guys behind them look…
Linebacker: …Atomic. Like scorched taste buds, fans should be required to sign a waiver after watching that performance yesterday. Harrison and Woodley tracking down the elusive Sproles, sacks, interceptions. What didn’t they do yesterday? They are the hottest unit on the entire team, possibly in the entire league, and are the reason that experts are calling this one of the best defenses in recent memory.
Defensive Back: The bomb to Vincent Jackson and the late, long pass to Sproles were possibly the only reasons for concern in Steelers nation. But the job done by these guys yesterday was Dusted Chipotle BBQ (no link, new flavor), dry at first but with a sweet finish. Polamalu was all over the field (ridiculous call on the blow to the helmet, by the way. Protect the QB, but I didn’t see anything there that approached being worthy of a 15 yard penalty. Fortunately, Corky was on the case questioning the legitimacy of that call), and the others did their part to not let the Chargers back into the game. Kudos for pulling their weight, again in an under-appreciated way.
Future Insights from the Big Screen: The movie quotes that inspired a sports weekend:
“Discovered by the Germans in 1904, they name it ‘San Diego,’ which of course in German means a whale’s vagina.” - Ron Burgundy (Anchorman), giving Dick LeBeau some advice in putting together the offensive scouting report on Philip Rivers and the Chargers prior to the 35-24 smack down at Heinz Field last night.
“You’re excited?! FEEL THESE NIPPLES!!!” – Bob Costas (BASEketball) giving fodder for the play-by-play to the announcing team for the Arizona Cardinals following an improbable victory over the Carolina Panthers on Saturday night.
“So, if the Beers beat Detroit and Denver beats Atlanta in the American Southwestern Division East Northern, then [Philadelphia] goes to the Denslow Cup, unless Baltimore can upset Buffalo and Charlotte ties Toronto, then Oakland would play LA and Pittsburgh in a blind choice round robin. And if no clear winner emerges from all of this, the two-man sack race will be held on consecutive Sundays until a champion can be crowned.” – Kenny Mayne (BASEketball) explaining the scenario under which the Philadelphia Eagles got into the 2008 NFL playoffs…though they now sit just one win away from another nauseating Donovan McNabb performance in Super Bowl Polamalu.
“Pain!” – Clubber Lang (Rocky III) giving Ray Lewis notice on a prediction for this coming weekend’s AFC Championship game in Pittsburgh against the Steelers.
Lies, Damned Lies and Statistics: Even after a performance like that, it would be foolish to expect a lop-sided result in the AFC Championship Game…one way or the other. Check out the statistics from the first two Steelers-Ravens matchups this season in the following categories: 1st downs, total yards, turnovers and time of possession:
Week 4 – Steelers 23, Ravens 20 in OT
Team Stat Comparison
1st Downs
Ravens - 16
Steelers - 11
Total Yards
Ravens - 243
Steelers - 237
Turnovers
Ravens - 1
Steelers - 1
Possession
Ravens - 34:22
Steelers - 31:43
Week 15 – Steelers 13, Ravens 9
Team Stat Comparison
1st Downs
Ravens - 18
Steelers - 12
Total Yards
Ravens - 311
Steelers - 202
Turnovers
Ravens - 2
Steelers - 2
Possession
Ravens - 31:38
Steelers - 28:22
Outgained, outpossessed, even turnover battle...and the Steelers were still 2-0 against the Ravens this season.
Finally, the Happy Thought of the Week: Turrible really wishes the start times were reversed for the championship games this weekend, because he really wants to sit back and enjoy the fact that a 9-6-1 football team is traveling to a 9-7 football team for the right to represent the NFC in Super Bowl Polamalu. This is made more enjoyable by the fact that the game will not be played in Green Bay, Dallas, San Francisco, Philadelphia, Washington, New York, Detroit, Chicago, Seattle, Charlotte, New Orleans, Minneapolis, Atlanta, Tampa Bay or St. Louis…but ARI-FREAKING-ZONA. An NFC Championship game in Phoenix? If that doesn’t scream parity in the NFL, I really don’t know what does. Here’s hoping that Larry Fitz and the boys put on a show for the home faithful, who snapped up tickets for the entire stadium in just under 6 minutes. Congratulations, Cards. Best of luck against the team with the classiest fan base in the entire league.
Oh, and one more thing…you stay glassy, Phillip Rivers’ jaw!.
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3 comments:
Your right, when your first Steelers memory is somebody driving there car into 3 Rivers Stadium in a attempt to kill Marc Malone, you know your getting, if not already are, old.
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“Unfortunately, the Ravens do not have the 25th ranked defense in the National Football League traveling to Heinz this coming Sunday. But when they arrive at the confluence, are they going to be visiting the 22nd ranked offense in the NFL that they saw twice this season…or the best playoff-type offense remaining in the NFL playoff bracket that was on display yesterday?”
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That is the question of all questions my friend
The Clubber Lang reference was classic yo
Thanks Dame. I had to go back and add in the play review, as it didn't quite post right the first time. One is the loneliest number, son.
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