Not the best quality..  as I don't think these are ever officially posted online..  this is the 4th Quarter Renegade from the Chargers game..  Imagine being Douchbag Rivers and watching that while on the sidelines.  

This WPXI video come courtesy of Amy Saleik of Fort Wayne, IN, a Steelers fan and friend of TTB. Commander Michael Fink gives us a glimpse of what a weightless Terrible Towel looks like.

WPXI -- Steeler fan in space.

T-minus 33 hours until WWIII at Heinz Field and this a glorious sports day to wake up to in Pittsburgh.

The Pens beat Anaheim 3-1 last night, their second win in three games, Pitt plays at Louisville in their second big match up of the year and we continue to monitor Steelers and Raven injuries.

I'll get the links rolling after the jump, but I wanted to defer to friend of TTB and hockey expert Jason McBride's analysis of why the Penguins have sucked over the last couple months. While he had many thoughts on moves the Pens could make, it all boiled down to they fact that they are an easy team to play against. Not just an easy team to beat, but unlike last year, no teams consider playing Pittsburgh a hard, physical game that they want to avoid.

In short, they lack the scrappy, hard-nosed kind of players it takes to make you tough to play. Well, for last night anyway, Matt Cooke was one of those guys. Cooke had two goals in a win that wasn't pretty, but came without Sid and without Orpik, who missed most of the game after suffering an undisclosed injury.

Steelers, Pens, Pitt hoops and more after the jump....

PG: Pressure will be on the guards tonight as Rick Petino always loves to pressure. No. 1 Pitt vs. No. 20 Louisville at 6 p.m. ESPN.

Louisville C-J: Pitt isn't a finesse team. Compares them to the Steelers. I don't disagree.

PG: Ed Reed is good. Blah, blah, blah. He is. I've just been hearing that a lot.

Trib: How the Ravens have tried to neutralize Harrison. Extra tackle again?

PG: FWP likes to laugh too! The typical giddy, happy feature that comes with being in the Conference Title game.

Baltimore Sun: This Schmuck's lame attempt to talk trash in his blog. It's easy to make fun of his name, but his post is lamer, so let's stick to that.

BS: Why Ravens fans hate Pittsburgh. No doubt, this is the shortest, stupidest "article" I've ever seen.

You should be. Want to keep posting videos to give you guys some perspective...and here's one that should freak you out about dear friends from Baltimore...

Just 50 hours from legalized mutilation, Turrible wants to make sure that all of the blog readers are in the appropriate frame of mine to make it through the last few hours of work this Friday afternoon. So I present to you a feast of speeches to get you in the right frame of mind for this weekend. Without further ado:

THIRD PLACE: Rudy - Pre Game Speech from Dan Devine



SECOND PLACE: Hoosiers - Regional Finals Speech from Norman Dale (fitting because of current place in NFL Playoff Bracket)



FIRST PLACE: Any Given Sunday - Tony D'Amato giving one of the great sports movie speeches of all time. Rest of movie, below average. These four minutes? Terrific!

To quote Jimmy Fallon from the SNL sketch, "Morning Madhouse on Z105"...

And we're BAACCKK!

Before I dig in to what I woke up.. well, in this case it's going to be, what I came back to, I first need to thank the staff here at the TB for filling in for me this week. I was able to play catch up last yesterday and was blown away by the content, and the different WIWUTs, which were AWESOME. As committed as I am to bringing our quickly growing readership a dose of news, opinion and bad jokes each and every day, times will come when the job I get paid for needs me to be outside of our fair city.

Jesus Christ is it cold here by the way.. after 4 days in San Diego, where it was 78 and sunny everyday, I jumped back into my ride at Pitstop Parking last night at 10:30 PM to see that the digital thermometer on my rearview mirror read "1". As in 1 degrees, as in goddamn it's cold.

One more quick thing about my trip to San Diego, as I am walking onto the plane Monday morning at US Airways terminal B10, I was past the first class cabin and notice none other than Dennis Green. Not even 2 minutes after I sit down I get a Blackberry IM from friend of the blog and my co-worker Chris reading, "They were who we thought they were!". Good times.

Enough about the weather and stuff you probably can care less about, as you all pretty much know what I am whining about.. and onto what I came back to, after the leap-a-roo.

So I catch late last night on the Channel 11 news that Sidney Crosby got hurt versus the Caps the other night. Surprise, surprise NHL coverage is non-existent in non NHL markets and I had no clue this happened.. and ESPN gives maybe 4 minutes per 60 minute Sportscenter to hockey, so I was clueless. But, according to John Fedko's stache-less face, Sid should be ok sooner than later. THANK GOD.

Oh, and the Steelers are prepared to return to the Superbowl. I know this is going to be a very debatable game Sunday against at the Ravens, but I can't see Joe Flacco beating the Steelers D at Heinz Field on this stage.

Onto the links guys.. it's great to be back.

The PG:  The Panthers have quite the gauntlet to run these next few games.. almost each team is ranked and almost each game is on the road.. YIKES.

The PG:  Sid will be a "game-time decision"..

The PG:  Gerry Dulac goes through the Steelers/Ravens match-up..

ESPN:  Now this is how you preview the Steelers/Ravens game.. 

ESPN:  Jerome Bettis gave fast Willie a pep-talk before last week's game.. 

NHL:  Looks like Sid has the "lower body injury" we all know and love..

NHL:  The .com's preview of the Pens/Ducks battle tonight.

Metromix:  The all-time best Superbowl commercials.

Greatness is often built upon a foundation of previous failure.

Pain

No other worldly experience wields such dictatorial power. If something hurts you bad enough, you will do everything in your power to avoid that source of agony for the duration of you’re remaining of years. Sadly not unlike the proverbial death and taxes, pain is unavoidable, so we are forced to man up John McClain style and walk barefoot on glass during certain epochs of our lives.

This is such a time.

To defeat pain one must be able to identify its causes, and then be willing to strangle it like a person taking their talent of telekinesis to the next level. Let us then, recognize the cause of our near post traumatic stress inducing malady.

What do the years 1994, 1997, 2001, and 2004 mean to you?

If you said a set of numbers if divided by two both increase by the increment of 3 years. Get off my f%*^$* page now.

If you are having flashbacks fueled by pain and anger, I really don’t haft to inform you those are the four Steeler seasons in the modern Black n Gold era ruined by AFC Championship Game losses at home.

No matter the suppression tactics you try to employ, you still remember wanting to kick Alfred Pupunu in the coconuts with steel toe Timbs, and witnessing Tim McKyer being dragged off the field like a injured soldier on a Iwo Jima beach, still singed from the incineration Tony Martin gave him.

You Remember:

Not knowing who you wanted to cause bodily harm first. Kordell Stewert for utterly melting down in the most import game he commandeered during his life or Bill Romanowski for the “What a dummy I am celebration” directed at number 10 after a crucial interception. (I so wish Jack Lambert was there that day)

It’s hard forget the penalty that earned Troy Edwards most hated Steeler draft pick status next to Tim Worley or Drew Bledsoe coming of the bench and chipping in on the Patriots 1st beer run. Let us not forget about the drop heard though out the Steeler Nation, that sealed Cheedar Bob’s fate in Pittsburgh and cemented our fear of home.

I told you we must face the cause of our pain I didn’t say it was going to be easy.

People can front and say that the main reason they wanted to play Tennessee was to avenge the disrespect of the Terrible Towel, or because they have been drinking the ESPN kool-aid about how hard it is to beat the same team 3 times in the same year (ummmm 1994 and 2002 Seasons vs the Browns anyone?) but for many, the central reason a large segment of Steeler fans wanted a Titian victory was to avoid playing another AFCCG at home.

I was one of them, until I woke up and realized that thought process was b.s.

Please allow me to reverse a great oratory speech and state "The Ravens are not who you think they are".

If one honestly looks back at last weeks Ravens vs Titians tilt, said person can only come away with the thought that Tennessee should be in process of explaining why they desecrated our Shroud of Truin this week.

Many have placed Jeff “Bill Cowher broke my leg” Fisher’s squad defeat on the injury to Chris Johnson or the mysterious no call on a painfully obvious delay of game on the Ravens part. How about realizing Alge Crumpler has taken over Jackie Smith’s title as the “Sickest Man in America”, with his inexplicable fumble, amongst Tennessee’s other Pacman like squandered of opportunities.

The better team lost and you should be thankful for that.

Blind hate, which is what most of us see when shown a card blotted with black n purple is known to impede rational thought, so lets take deep breath and really assess this Ravens team.
First lets peer at the offence, or as some would call it, the oxymoron.

Enough with Flacco fluffing, its sickeningly disrespectful to football fans intelligence. I understand when a franchise endures five years of Kyle Boller, any sign of respectable QB play from another signal caller is to be treated like contact with a intelligent life form from another galaxy, but it has gone way to far.

Go take a gander at young funny sounding name stats if you want your daily dose of unimpressed. The talking point of him “not being a rookie anymore” is as egregious as it is false. I mean you would think he went undefeated his rookie year or something.

Please try not to laugh as we move on the running backs. Yes as a group they have decent stats, but lest we forget our run defense is impregnable and might just eat your heart. McGahee will not be padding his stats with a b.s late game run this week.

The receiving core = Derrick Mason. Ooohhh I’m Scared.

To be fair everybody knows since the dawn of the Ravens respectability their strength has been on the defensive side of the ball, but who says you must fear strength?

Especially injured strength.

The injury to Terell Suggs will definitely inhibit Baltimore’s effectiveness, and while Samari Rolle hasn’t been the same since the doctors told him he couldn’t play video games anymore, his inability to play could be key. Juxtapose a finally healthy Steelers O against B-More’s hobbled D and the choice is easy.

Did I mention the 60,000 plus screaming Steeler Maniacs who worked hard to get their tickets, said their prayers to the football Gods, and will be drinking their liquid vitamins all day?

Baltimore, stick to what you good at, drama’s revolving around drugs and murder, and leave the Super Bowls stuff to those more experienced.

We Got this.

2-4 will feel sooo much better then it looks, especially when its earned at home.

So the next 4 days for me will consist of trying to watch TV and not think too much about Sunday. The over analyzation is already killing me softly. There is no better way to keep my eyes and ears from finding the 4 letter network than to give you, the Terrible Readers, another dose of the critically acclaimed, pulitzer prize nominated and now, with an extra drop of retsin, Thoughts From The Couch/ Pre Championship Game Edition...





1. The 4 letter network, Fox Sports and Sports Illustrated are at it again with their talking points. This week's? Joe Flacco is cool. I actually watched a 5 minute piece that had Todd Heap, Derrick Mason and Willis McGahee all say the exact same thing: The thing about Flacco is, he's so cool under pressure. Rachel Nichols mentioned how he "Doesn't panic" at least 2 dozen times in her report. Panic? He throws 18 passes a game, barely has to even make a play and doesn't have to worry about his defense if he turns the ball over. Who would panic? What does the national media expect Flacco to do? run out to the huddle in a bike helmet and blue jeans, with his jeresy on backwards? Then he goes to the huddle, instead of calling a play, he sings the opening theme song to the Gary Shandling Show has projectile diarrhea and falls asleep standing up? Get a grip people.

2. Thoughts From The Couch Fun Fact of the Week: Rowdy Roddy Piper has been stabbed 3 times in his life.

3. I don't want to toot my own horn or anything, but my "If He Dies, He Dies" column from yesterday was pretty much spot on. I hate Ovechkin, but goodness he is a man amongst boys out there.

4. When did wallet chains become en vogue again? Mickey Rourke is on the Jimmy Kimmel show wearing one, Heath Ledger's Joker wore one in the Dark Knight, I've seen them as part of awards show red carpet suits. Remember when the wallet chain was reserved for the guy in auto shop class with slicked back hair who smoked marlboros, listened to "One" by Metallica so often that his cassette boom box wore out, wore tight jeans and was usually named "Billy" or "Knuckles" ? I miss those days.

5. I think Keith Olberman and Rachel Maddow are the same person.

6. Has there ever been less heat for an NFC championship game?

7. You know what bothers me? The Terrible Tree or whatever the hell it's called. Do we honestly have to have a pep rally for professional athletes? Who are these things "Pepping"? The fans? cause I'm pretty sure the players aren't watching and going, "Hey, they like us, they really like us, Let's win it for all those people singing Here We Go instead of actually being at work" Let's all head back to work and let the Professional Athlete's motivate themselves.

8. Shady is gone. NFL Draft it is. If he's there at #30, 31 or 32...I'm just saying.

9.I like to periodically look through porn titles on comcast on demand to find funny titles. (Seriously, $11.99 or free porn on the internet?) This week's TFTC Pay Per View Porn Title of the Week: "Who's Nailin' Palin?" a porn with a woman playing Sara Palin, getting ganged up by Russian spies. I guess what I'm asking here is this: Where can I get my hands on "Who's plowin' Mimi Eisenhower?" or "Olympia Do Cock Us"?

10. If McDonalds had it's way every group of friends would have 1 white guy, 1 black guy, 1 asian guy and 1 Hispanic guy. They would also sing acapella together about various dollar menu items.

11. There is this band called Chux Beta. They rock. I highly recommend checking them out www.myspace.com/chuxbeta

12. Shameless plugs are lame.


I'll meet you back on the couch Sunday night.

Be Easy.

Good morning kids. I woke up to freezing cold temperatures this morning. That and continued b.s. coming from Owings Mills, MD. But let's call a spade a spade...the biggest load of b.s. yesterday eminated from Grant Street in downtown Pittsburgh , as Mayor Opie (credit: 2 political junkies) began the process of changing his name from Ravenstahl to "Steelerstahl." Wow.

At one point in Turrible's life, he had a front row seat for the various episodes eminating from Pittsburgh's city hall. Mayor Luke has a world of promise, but has continued to get bad advice and surround himself with the wrong advisors. There have been only a few occasions (Pittsburgh Promise, which was not his idea, incidentally) where a policy decision has resulted in getting his name in the paper and recognition. The rest has been Toby Keith concerts, firing high-level staffers for indiscretions of questionable validity, hunting down Tiger Woods at the U.S. Open, disappearing to other states when he has meetings with disenfranchised women and minorities, and this gem courtesy of the Pittsburgh Tribune Review (note: when the leader of your party and the next POTUS is going to recognize you, BE THERE!):



A wise man once said that this is a travesty, and a sham, and a mockery...it's a TRAVESHAMOCKERY. So, Mayor Steelerstahl, keep it tight, aiiight? Decorate your Steeler tree in front of the City/County building and keep riding Onorato's coattails to his governorship and your rightful place as Allegheny County Executive. Don't worry about policy or making Pittsburgh a better place to live...cleaner and safer. Don't worry about the fact that the pension fund is about to explode and you don't have any answers. Don't worry about the attrition of the young population to places around the country that have jobs because the city continues to fail at job creationn, even with multiple world class educational institutions producing scholars at astounding rates...schools that are right down the street from you.

Rant over. On to the links.

Baltimore Sun - Hines Ward, not Osama Bin Laden or Saddam Hussein or Charles Manson or Jeffrey Dahlmer or Jim Nants or Phil Simms, is the most hated man in Baltimore. If the Asian Maven wasn't your favorite Steeler before reading this story, please have a good time trying to explain to me why he isn't after reading this story.

Baltimore Sun (video) - Ray Lewis looks tired. And old. And like a murderer.

MSN - National story (through Fox) on Mayor Steelerstahl. Your honor, if you were a real man, you'd pony up the $108.00 and actually go through with the change. At least you could count on the western Pennsylvania vote in your race for governor years from now.

Washington Post - Remember what it was like, Pens fans, when you got to read from the perspective of the winning side of the ledger? Here's a recap on last night's loss from the Washington Post.

ESPN - Is this the year for the University of Pittsburgh's Mens Basketball Team? Follow the links next to the game story from last night's victory, look at the schedule, and tell me what on there scares you.

Post-Gazette - This explains why I ran around like a madman throughout Northern Virginia, only to find that there was to be no liquid nourishment compliments of the Pittsburgh Brewing Company. I had to settle for Penn Gold. Not a bad alternative...but doesn't have that metallic taste that Turrible craves (definitely not Brawndo...not enough electrolytes).

UK Telegraph - Will Smith as Barack Obama? I think the Fresh Prince was born to play the 44th President of the United States.

Somewhere deep down, I'm embarrassed about riding the Cardinals to a second round lead. But somewhere even deeper, I love it.

The Terrible Consensus was 3-1 on the week, with Arizona killing our perfection again.

The Standings, followed by the lines for the Conference Title games:

7-1: Sonny
6-2: Matty Hu, Signor and Arden
5-3: Tony & Dave
4-4: JB, Dame
3-5: Turrible, Dunn and Herrmann

Let's face it 52-36 (.590) as a group would, properly backed, cover airfare, a few steak dinners and rooms at Caesars. My 88% would get me my own wildly popular hotline.

On to this week's games:

Baltimore Ravens at Pittsburgh Steelers (-6)

The old 3-point home boost tells us that Vegas thinks the Steelers are three points better than the Ravens. Believe it? Well, Pittsburgh has won two games this season by 3 and 4 points. I would never in my life bet for or against the Steelers in an AFC Championship game, but something tells me this line is a few points higher than it should be. Steelers Nation and their prideful betting dollars are pushing this line.

Philadelphia Eagles (-4) at Arizona Cardinals

Let's first look at Arizona's history of hosting NFC title game......um, oh yeah. What are the odds of hell freezing over again? (Checking the temperature in Cleveland...) Are the Eagles a touchdown better than the team that just throttled the Panthers?

Dunn, JB, Dave and Dame have each been burned by the Cards twice now....who wants a third?

Running down the dream.

Despite being a former Titan and current Raven, you gotta admire Derek Mason’s toughness…even if he stunk when I had him in fantasy football.

Peter King likes the Steelers on Sunday…and coffee.

Marge: Lisa, there are more important things in life than sports.

Homer: Sports. Sports. Sports. Sports. Sports. Sports. Sports. Sports.

Defense wins championships. Period. Despite yet another record setting season for NFL Offenses, the top 3 defenses in the league have made it to the final 4. What are the Cardinals doing there you may ask…I guess they have this year’s glass slipper. I’ll take this Defensive battle any day of the week. Forget Manning vs Brady or Montana/Young vs Aikman, give me Silverback vs Ray Ray or Troy vs Ed.

More WIWUT after the jump…


NFL: Pat Kirwan breaks down the AFC Championship game

Post-Gazette: Ed Bouchette takes on the “hocus-pocus” (god I love Mike Tomlin sound bites) that you can’t beat a team 3 times in one season.

Baltimore Sun: Jamison Hensley also discusses the hocus pocus of beating a team 3 times and gives Raven’s fans 3 reasons to be optimistic and 3 reasons to worry about Sunday’s match-up.

Post-Gazette: Shady having a change of heart? Don’t count on it but tomorrow could be an interesting day for Pitt Football. ***Update*** Goodbye Cathedral of Learning, Hello Madison Square Garden...we'll miss you Shady. Please don't get drafted into the AFC North.

Post-Gazette: Pens “outworked and outplayed” their opponent and it leads to a much needed victory…a new recipe for success? I guess we’ll have to watch Drago vs Drago tonight to see…

A funny thing happened on the way to the hall of fame.

Since Sidney Crosby was selected 1st overall by our Pittsburgh Penguins in 2005, the NHL has been hell bent on creating a Lemieux/Gretzky type situation between #87 and one Alexander Mikhaylovich Ovechkin. The thing is, Evgeni Malkin has surpassed both men and become the most dominant player on the planet.

Oh, and I'm pretty sure AO is #2.


I have heard folks all over the hockey universe do the "Malkin is Lemieux, Crosby is Gretzky and Ovechkin is Messier" thing to death. As you continue to watch these games, you realize, Malkin is Lemieux AND Gretzky, Ovechkin is Brett Hull if to concieve him, his dad Bobby boned Zeus and Sid is kind of his own kind of player. Way too gritty to be Gretzky but blessed with the best rink vision I've seen in a player in probably 15-20 years.

So what does this all mean? Pretty simple really, as the NHL starts to rev up it's NBC games of the week as well as VS. coverage, they have an identity crisis on their hands. The battle for the hockey galaxy will featue a main event of Geno vs AO. Sid will fight the undercard (Hopefully against Alexander Semin)



This just makes more sense, 2 countrymen, 2 natural rivals, 2 young, talented up and coming teams in the same conference. Malkin was picked 2nd overall in the 2004 NHL entry draft one spot behind AO. They apparently loathe each other, someone punched someones agent (too bad Drew Rosenhaus doesn't have more Russian clients) and both have tried to maim the other on the ice more than once.

I don't want anyone to misconstrue here: I wouldn't pick any other player in the world to wear the C on my favorite team's sweater. Sid works his ass off night in and night out, trains like a beast, leads by example and makes everyone around him better. What I'm saying is Geno and AO don't need to make anyone else look better, they can do it by themselves.

So starting tonight at the soon-to-be-demolished Igloo, I'd like to see the NHL grab the bull by the horns and start pimping this matchup. Russian vs. Russian, who will be the face of the NHL? Who will first taste the nectar from Lord Stanley's Cup? This is Drago vs. Drago! (Luckily for Pens fans, we happen to have Rocky, you know #87? to help out if our Drago gets cut)

photo credit:Lyle Stafford/Getty Images

In an offseason highlighted by one major league free agent (and pornstache) addition, the signing of two Indian pitchers (not Cleveland, New Dehli) who won a reality show and the Rule V drafting of Kevin Johnson's (Phoenix Suns) son; the Pirates hits just kept on coming Tuesday.

In the fine print, it was reported the Buccaneers signed a true pillager, Craig Monroe, to a minor league deal. Monroe had several decent seasons, though none since 2006, with the Detroit Tigers. Perhaps though the highlight of his career was joining elfish actress Wynona Ryder in becoming a "somewhat famous, overpaid" shoplifter.
In Dec. 2004, Monroe was arrested for shoplifting a belt from a Florida department store. To Monroe's defense, he only made $335,000 in 2004. Monroe, whose mother's name IS Marilyn (a different one, not the candle in the wind), entered a diversion program in order to avoid facing a misdemeanor charge for his $30 theft. For the record, Monroe has stolen 18 more bases than belts over his eight-year big league career.
Next up, a Wednesday announcement from the Bucs that Bernie Madoff will assume the role of visiting clubhouse manager.

Thanks to this tip from Christa McLaughin, who is a die-hard Eagles fan in Ravens country (our condolences on both fronts) for this breaking news item from The Onion about Ben Roethlisberger's condition.

According to sources within the team, Roethlisberger's head is so screwed up, he can't remember any of his teammates names.

"He only used a first name once, and that was when he was talking to Troy Polamalu. And he kept calling him Randy," said one teammate.

Turrible is on the scene to provide you with a dose of WIWUT. Dave is on the shelf in San Diego, drying out after significant amounts of consumption during the divisional playoffs this past weekend. And since Turrible is a transplant in our nation's capital, a scant 35 miles from Ravens Central, what I woke up to this morning was a whole bunch of B.S. eminating from Owings Mills, MD.

And just so you don't think that Steelers fans are exceptionally hokie with their various fight songs, check out this gem...and don't forget to HEED THE CAW!!!


Baltimore Sun: Terrell Suggs will "be close" in terms of his availablilty for Sunday's contest. This isn't horseshoes, folks. Fairly certain that we'll see Mr. Suggs on Sunday.

Baltimore Sun: I think that the Ravens players are excited about the opportunity for a third crack at the Black & Gold. Derrick Mason should consider a career in stand-up comedy. Very dramatic video here where he drops a bomb and then exits.

Post-Gazette: I don't know who John Hayes is, but I do know that he was assigned with the yearly playoff push fluff story about the Steelers various fight songs. After that atrocious "Heed the Caw" song, I think that a dose of Pu-lah-ma-lou is in order.

ESPN: Comprehensive coverage of the AFC Championship game from the folks at the four-letter.

ESPN: Never too early for a little "Bracketology," especially when your Panthers are the top seed and get the winner of the play-in game.

Washington Post: If you like Uncle Tony and Wilbon, then you'll like this a lot. If you don't, you will still probably like it. In this episode, Uncle Tony learns about Facebook. CLAAAAASIC!!!

Bonus Peyton Manning commercial...probably my new favorite.

I'm going to pull out of my beat of covering the Pirates "Major" League Baseball travesty to give a hat tip to former Steeler Tony Dungy.

Dungy called it quits today after seven successful seasons which saved Indianapolis professional football. Seven playoff appearances, a Super Bowl championship, a new stadium (domed because the elements here are so foreboding) and the love and adoration of a city. I say here, because I'm embedded in Indy where I keep an eye on the Pirates suspects...er uh, prospects, with the Triple-A Indianapolis Indians.
The exit of Dungy from Indy is unlike the torch passing of Noll to Cowher; Cowher to Coach Epps; because Indianapolis is not a football town and the Indianapolis Colts are not an organization of the Steelers pedigree. Before his arrival, the Indianapolis version of the Colts were 107-180 in 18 seasons; making the playoffs just four times. After Dungy's arrival, the Horseshoes went 85-27.
An offensive juggernaut, the Colts behind their six-five, 230-pound quarterback with a...laser rocket arm managed just one Super Bowl championship, while exhibiting countless apoplectic Manning Faces.
After the Colts choked the bit against the Chargers last week, the "wise" Indy media, with apparent short memories, began calling for Dungy's departure.
Dungy was too good for a team whose fans can't man up and watch football in sub-60 degree weather. As I remind my Indy friends, while twisting the knife, Dungy was, will always be, a Stiller

All week long I have talked with theterribleblog.com staff about my personal preference for a return trip to Tennessee for the AFC Championship game. Over the last two decades (and Turrible can’t believe that he can remember with great clarity the last two decades of Steelers football…our butts are getting old), the Steelers haven’t fared very well at home in such contests. Another crack at a team where the Steelers would have a chip on their shoulder, a fast track for the defense and fan support out the wazoo due to the “towel incident,” seemed to Turrible the best way for the Steelers to punch their ticket to Super Bowl Polamalu (can we all agree that the Steelers’ fifth title was won in Super Bowl Myron Bell?).

That sentiment was expressed long before what I witnessed from the celery green sectional couch at the Turrible Cave yesterday. I’m still not exactly sure how that victory happened transpired. The offensive line, often resembling the weathered, wooden screen door that you might find at the malt shop in Money for Nutting’s Mayberry analogy earlier this week, kept ben’s jersey clean on the way to piling up 165 rushing yards on 42 totes. For his part, ben looked adept…maneuvering around the pocket, firing strikes to his much-maligned receiving corps…who in turn had the audacity to catch the ball in big situations. Heath Miller was prominently involved in the offense. I saw a fullback at points yesterday. Who was that offense that was wearing the black and gold yesterday, and where had they been all season long? This victory was about the Steelers offense, as prolific in its ball possession as it has ever been and productive to the tune of four TD’s.

Now, World War III has been scheduled for 6:30 P.M. in Pittsburgh, PA on Sunday, January 18, 2009. Unfortunately, the Ravens do not have the 25th ranked defense in the National Football League traveling to Heinz this coming Sunday. But when they arrive at the confluence, are they going to be visiting the 22nd ranked offense in the NFL that they saw twice this season…or the best playoff-type offense remaining in the NFL playoff bracket that was on display yesterday?

One is the Loneliest Number That You’ll Ever Do: Much has been made about the domination that was Steelers v. Chargers, 2008 Divisional Playoff Game, third quarter. There were other plays in the game that our CBS announcing crew of Chris Burke and Dr. Phil McGraw tabbed as back-breaking, gut wrenching plays. Lethal Weapon 10’s punt return, Willie Parker’s 16 yard TD run…but the biggest play of the entire game was the lone offensive play that the San Diego Super Chargers ran in the third quarter.

Turrible, on the phone with terribleblogger Jim Dunn, advised that the number one defense in the NFL would do well to create a turnover, just as Darren Sproles was collecting the kickoff after the Steelers go up 21-10. After the lengthy return, Mr. Dunn thanked Turrible for calling and rushed off of the phone, angrily muttering what an idiot Turrible was under his breath. Looking for a quick strike, Rivers drops back to pass from the Steelers 24 yard line, a place on the field in which doing nothing on three downs and kicking a field goal would bring you back to within a score. Looks left to one receiver on a timing route, decides to fire a pass that is deflected into the air by Diesel…with the fluttering deflection gathered in by Larry Foote with an assist from the NFL Defensive Player of the Year.

Even though the resulting drive did not amount to much, the Steelers benefitted from another Trojan-enz Boner of the Week award candidate Eric Weddle on Mitchell W. Berger’s punt that set the Steelers up for the nail-in-the-coffin score. Bottom line, very difficult to score points against the Steelers this season. Extremely difficult when you only have one offensive play in the quarter. This, according to Corky and Dr. Phil, is what good teams do. (Special shout out to friend of the blog S. Ellsworth who texts Turrible with the following at 7:30 P.M. on 1/11/09: “I’d like to tar & feather Simms, then shoot a salvo of crossbows into his chest!” Agreed.)


No Football Team Left Behind: The divisional playoff round of No Football Team Left Behind (where we grade the Steelers not by grades, but by a random assortment of analogies) will pay homage to a Western PA tradition, which is almost as old as the concept of “Steelers Football,” and Dick LeBeau. This week: “The Flava of Love (and Victory),” sponsored by Quaker Steak and Lube :

Quarterback: The performance yesterday was vintage ben roethlisberger, mistake-free and fulfilling. He made plays when he had to, threw the ball efficiently and in no way left a bad taste in our mouths. His Medium wing-flavored performance was indeed classic, with a little bit of bite following the concussion and a week full of people who doubted that he was half the quarterback he used to be.

Running Back: Willie Parker was all Premium Garlic yesterday, with some red chile spiciness and a full garlic punch. His tasty performance, 27 carries for 146 yards and two scores, was reminiscent of days seemingly long gone at points this season. He had speed, power, vision and patience. He waited for plays to develop, saw a hole and hit it like Spencer tagging Heidi. More of that please.

Wide Receiver: Going to have to double up for this one to pay homage to Steelers Offense, who turned in a sweet Asian Sesame performance yesterday, and Lethal Weapon 10, who had just the right smooth, fiery and sweet flavor (and appropriate alma mater) to have a Buckeye BBQ type of day. With the one man pooh crew of Nate Washington, and the enigma that is Limas Sweed dropping balls yesterday, it was nice to see two talented veterans turn in such a wholesome, satisfying performance.

Offensive Line and Tight End: Between running the ball, protecting ben and getting Heath Miller involved in the passing game, there is little doubt that the offensive lines and tight ends turned in a Honey Mustard effort against the Chargers…a sweet blend pass blocking and run blocking that has been virtually non-existent this entire season.

Defensive Line: The RMoNB, Diesel and A. Smith turned in a SuperCharged (no link, new flavor) effort yesterday that was extremely hot, but only for the football nuts. This unit continues to be underappreciated because of their roles in the LeBeau scheme and the fact that they have 2-3 perennial pro-bowl type players playing behind them. But that effort yesterday was extraordinary, containing Darren Sproles with his running, causing disruption in passing game…and as always making the guys behind them look…

Linebacker: …Atomic. Like scorched taste buds, fans should be required to sign a waiver after watching that performance yesterday. Harrison and Woodley tracking down the elusive Sproles, sacks, interceptions. What didn’t they do yesterday? They are the hottest unit on the entire team, possibly in the entire league, and are the reason that experts are calling this one of the best defenses in recent memory.

Defensive Back: The bomb to Vincent Jackson and the late, long pass to Sproles were possibly the only reasons for concern in Steelers nation. But the job done by these guys yesterday was Dusted Chipotle BBQ (no link, new flavor), dry at first but with a sweet finish. Polamalu was all over the field (ridiculous call on the blow to the helmet, by the way. Protect the QB, but I didn’t see anything there that approached being worthy of a 15 yard penalty. Fortunately, Corky was on the case questioning the legitimacy of that call), and the others did their part to not let the Chargers back into the game. Kudos for pulling their weight, again in an under-appreciated way.

Future Insights from the Big Screen: The movie quotes that inspired a sports weekend:

“Discovered by the Germans in 1904, they name it ‘San Diego,’ which of course in German means a whale’s vagina.” - Ron Burgundy (Anchorman), giving Dick LeBeau some advice in putting together the offensive scouting report on Philip Rivers and the Chargers prior to the 35-24 smack down at Heinz Field last night.

“You’re excited?! FEEL THESE NIPPLES!!!” – Bob Costas (BASEketball) giving fodder for the play-by-play to the announcing team for the Arizona Cardinals following an improbable victory over the Carolina Panthers on Saturday night.

“So, if the Beers beat Detroit and Denver beats Atlanta in the American Southwestern Division East Northern, then [Philadelphia] goes to the Denslow Cup, unless Baltimore can upset Buffalo and Charlotte ties Toronto, then Oakland would play LA and Pittsburgh in a blind choice round robin. And if no clear winner emerges from all of this, the two-man sack race will be held on consecutive Sundays until a champion can be crowned.” – Kenny Mayne (BASEketball) explaining the scenario under which the Philadelphia Eagles got into the 2008 NFL playoffs…though they now sit just one win away from another nauseating Donovan McNabb performance in Super Bowl Polamalu.

“Pain!” – Clubber Lang (Rocky III) giving Ray Lewis notice on a prediction for this coming weekend’s AFC Championship game in Pittsburgh against the Steelers.

Lies, Damned Lies and Statistics: Even after a performance like that, it would be foolish to expect a lop-sided result in the AFC Championship Game…one way or the other. Check out the statistics from the first two Steelers-Ravens matchups this season in the following categories: 1st downs, total yards, turnovers and time of possession:

Week 4 – Steelers 23, Ravens 20 in OT
Team Stat Comparison

1st Downs
Ravens - 16
Steelers - 11

Total Yards
Ravens - 243
Steelers - 237

Turnovers
Ravens - 1
Steelers - 1

Possession
Ravens - 34:22
Steelers - 31:43

Week 15 – Steelers 13, Ravens 9
Team Stat Comparison

1st Downs
Ravens - 18
Steelers - 12

Total Yards
Ravens - 311
Steelers - 202

Turnovers
Ravens - 2
Steelers - 2

Possession
Ravens - 31:38
Steelers - 28:22

Outgained, outpossessed, even turnover battle...and the Steelers were still 2-0 against the Ravens this season.

Finally, the Happy Thought of the Week: Turrible really wishes the start times were reversed for the championship games this weekend, because he really wants to sit back and enjoy the fact that a 9-6-1 football team is traveling to a 9-7 football team for the right to represent the NFC in Super Bowl Polamalu. This is made more enjoyable by the fact that the game will not be played in Green Bay, Dallas, San Francisco, Philadelphia, Washington, New York, Detroit, Chicago, Seattle, Charlotte, New Orleans, Minneapolis, Atlanta, Tampa Bay or St. Louis…but ARI-FREAKING-ZONA. An NFC Championship game in Phoenix? If that doesn’t scream parity in the NFL, I really don’t know what does. Here’s hoping that Larry Fitz and the boys put on a show for the home faithful, who snapped up tickets for the entire stadium in just under 6 minutes. Congratulations, Cards. Best of luck against the team with the classiest fan base in the entire league.

Oh, and one more thing…you stay glassy, Phillip Rivers’ jaw!.

Another year, another AFC Championship game...

This will be the biggest week in the history of The Terrible Blog...An AFC Championship Game against the hated Baltimore Ravens...Strap in and get ready.

My thoughts from the couch, after the jump.

1. What a great non block in the back by Anthony Madison on Santonio Holmes' punt return for TD. I think I've seen idiots in every single game since wild card weekend, needlessly shove someone on a kick or punt return to negate good gains.

2. Hell of a statement game from that Offensive Line today. Maybe they saw our Terrible Blog poll from last week? They were dominant in run and pass blocking.

3. Willie Parker was running with a hop in his step, he had something to prove. I'm convinced.

4. Besides Darnell Stapleton, the team was very focused and disciplined. That's coaching baby!!

5. Congrats to Coach on his first career playoff win. Here's to 2 more.

6. I think Phillip Rivers may be the most unlikebale athlete I've ever watched in my life. Stephen Cooper runs his mouth on every play but I never seem to see him make a tackle. Ron Rivera was a candidate to coach the Steelers...yikes. Go fuck yourself San Diego.

7. Is there a worse commercial on TV than that Sprint commercial with their smug-ass CEO walking through a park talking about tough financial times? Really dude? You having trouble paying the mortgage? Get off of my TV please. I hate you.

8. Ben was composed, made some dandy decisions and threw the ball with some zip.

9. That 3rd quarter was just silly.

10. LaMarr Woodley = Animal

11. Ravens = Blowhards

12. The #1 seeded Titans. I guess with our win and their loss, Terrible Towelgate ends in favor of our Pittsburgh Steelers. Don't F with the Towel.

13. According to the little lady, who was in attendance, Styx sang an acapella version of renegade during the player intros. Only in Pittsburgh could the band Styx envoke goose bumps. I'm still not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing...

14. Jim Nantz and Phil Simms really are the gift that keeps giving. During the 3rd quarter Jim Nantz inexplicably tells us that Lawrence Timmons middle name is Olajuwon and that his mom was a Rockets fan. He also went into a weird diatribe about Willie Parker giving his dad his superbowl ring and tying it together by comparing him to "Plaxico Burress and the me first generation" What does that even mean? At this point, they could have Pat Summerall and Kathy Lee Gifford (not Frank) do these games and there would be NO difference. They will be torture to listen to next week. What's the overunder on how many times they mention the look in Ray Lewis' eyes during their meeting on Friday night? 500? 1000?

15. Just to prep everyone..."Ed Reed is a ballhawk". "Oh here's some inspirational speech from Ray Lewis where he tries to sound like a minister". "Did you know Ed Reed and Ray Lewis study film together?" "Ed, Ray and Willis all went to the U". It's better we just get it all out of the way now.

16. Is Limus Sweed trying to get put back on the practice squad? I don't think I've ever seen a player get more garbage time oppurtunities to make plays an showcase himself and just bone them all up. Goodness!!!

17. Congrats to Wiz, Clark Haggans, Larry Fitz, Steve Breaston, Brian St Pierre, Russ Grimm and anyone else with Pittsburgh ties on the Cards. It's a pretty big deal to have that franchise hosting a Championship game. (But for the record, I'll take Coach over Grimm or Wiz any day of the week)

18. Philly. Where the hell did they come from? Why do Joe Buck and Troy Aikamn get outraged at players using props? Buck almost pulled his own dick off today when McNabb picked up the phone on Giants sidelines.

19. I listened to Bill Simmons podcast last week and they were talking about which QB from the class of 04 they trusted the most in the playoffs. They waffled between Rivers and Manning...in the words of Ben Affleck in Good Will Hunting after Will made that guy look silly in the bar "How Ya Like Me Now"?????

20. It'll be interesting to see What Coach's teams perfrom like in Championship games. Anyone who's nervous, remember, Cowhers teams choked. All we are saying, is give coach a chance!!!


Get ready for an INSANE week of trash talk and over-analyzation. But I couldn't think of anything I'd rather endure.

photo credit/Jason Bridge US PRESSWIRE

I've been searching all week for conclusive proof that the Steelers will win today. No luck. However, I'll share a few of the things I've learned.

First, Phillip Rivers doesn't swear. I heard this on a number of occassions early in the week and then from a backlash of Chargers fans after I wrote my CBS Sportsline column and called him a "punk". For one thing, you don't have to swear to be a punk. I'll assume Bill Simmons got about 7,565 more e-mails than I did about this in his Sports Guy column, but it's nice to know there is an army of crusaders out there trying to protect River's honor and that at least five of them read my column.

Secondly, if Rivers doesn't swear, I think today would be a nice time for the Steelers defense to force him to start.....

Also, I've been bothered all week by the lack of details regarding the first PITT-SD matchup. I'm sure you heard over and over that the Steelers outgained the Chargers 410-218 in total net yardage. Yet, the Steelers didn't score a touchdown despite many trips past the 50-yard line. No one has explained how this happened, since they didn't have any turnovers. So I looked into it.

• Reed missed a 51-yd. FG
• Moore stuffed on 4th and Goal from the 1
• Reed 21-yd. FG
• Reed 41 yd. FG
• Got to the 37 before Roethlisberger was sacked (Punt)
• McHugh holding call brought back a 4-yd. Parker TD run (Reed 32-yd. GW FG)

There is superstition, the writing's on the wall: Although I'm a little too reasonable to actually think that I, as a fan, can hurt the Steelers by looking ahead, I still try not to look ahead for some reason. So I'll say this, whoever gets the Ravens next week has a lot on their hands. If things go poorly today, it would be crazy to have the Chargers host the AFC Championship game after where they were mid-season. If things go well, I can't even begin to fathom how epic a Pittsburgh-Baltimore AFC Championship game would be. No work would get done in either city this week. None.

It's in the Cards: As my predictions mentioned, Arizona is a better team than people gave them credit for and the Panthers are a notch above mediocre. But it was amazing to see the Cardinals play like that while Carolina, simultaneously, pulled off such a choke-job. Larry Fitzgerald, the official non-Steeler NFL players of TheTerribleBlog.com, should always be in the playoffs. It should be in his contract.

Superstition II: Even though it goes against my pick, I'm kind of hoping the Eagles pull off an upset in the 1 o'clock. If three lower-seeded underdog teams win, there has to be some sort of kharmic force that prevents a third from doing it? Right?


Thank you, Mike Scifres, for explaining that you can't put backspin on a punted football. That not matter which way it spins, the bounce still comes down to luck. He still strikes fear into my heart. (SD-UT)

SD-UT story about The Terrible Towel

BoltsBlog: Styx is performing the National Anthem. Oh, mama.

PG Harrison feature. We continue to make fun of the Ravens for cutting him. Um, we did too!

PG Ron Cook wouldn't be surprised if Ben found a way to win. So (rolling my eyes) insightful.

As always, we look to the PG's Ed Bouchette for something well-written and new. Ben's history of injuries -- and bouncing back from them.