When I was in grade school, it meant nervous energy, doodling Steelers symbols in my notebooks and drawing up ingenius special teams to contain Eric Metcalf.

To a man this week, each player said Steelers vs. Browns is a rivalry because it is a divisional game. That's what they're supposed to say. Clearly, though, Ravens and Bengals weeks are bigger. And, probably, Titans, Chargers, Patriots and most of the rest of the league are ahead on the list too.

When Art Modell shipped the real Browns out of Cleveland, he let them keep their ugly colors, the Dawg Pound and the record books -- but he took the rivalry with him.

It's a rivalry that can be rebuilt with time, but it's going to take some brown and orange daggers. The rivalry took a major misstep in January of 2003 when Cleveland blew a seemingly insurmountable lead that would have knocked the Steelers out of the playoffs at Heinz Field.

Now, this rivalry feels more like La Salle-Peru High vs. Geneseo High in Illinois, where La Salle-Peru won its first game this week in the annual matchup since 1919.

So as we charge out of the tunnel, there is only one way to lead into Browns week:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fC3xNSiRTDc

In the span of one week, Rashard Mendenhall has been referred to as a bust, a waste of a roster spot, another lazy superstar wannabe, Willie Parker's replacement, our savior and a future Pro Bowler.

Whatever he may become, Mendenhall is taken a weird ass route to get here.

Here's how the next month plays out: #34 follows up his 165 and two TDs against the Whales Vaginas with at lease a combined 200 against the hapless Lions and Browns, where we, the Sporting News Greatest Sports People Ever, will crown him king of Having a Running Game.

Then, inevitably, we will face actual defenses for real pro teams and all collectively remember that we are not having a running game. What then? FWP? Whine about no fullback? Drink heavily?

Yes to all of this. But for now, sit back and enjoy the ride and hope that over the next few weeks the OL stays healthy and figures out how to run block.

Personnel should dictate the style of team, not some preconceived notion about what kind of identity a city has. Yeah, you're uncle was a steelworker. That's no reason to force a crappy running game.

The notion that the Steelers is a running franchise is a bit fabricated. It's a defensive team with five Super Bowl MVPs that were either QBs or WRs. Yes, the running game is weak. But it's not the sum total of the Steeler's problems in '09.

The Steelers have won six Super Bowls and, by my count, the last five of those wins came with pass-first offenses. That doesn't mean many of them weren't balanced. But moving the ball is more important than "establishing" something that doesn't work.

The Steelers have the same record as the Lions because the gameplan with a lead -- RUN/RUN/PASS/PUNT -- has failed us.

The Steelers best offensive players in order are: Ben Roethlisberger, Santonio Holmes, Heath Miller, Hines Ward, Willie Parker and Mike Wallace. Not to mention, the offensive line has shaped up to be a crappy run-blocking group with surprisingly average pass-blocking skills.

As the great Polka asks, "Can you believe we are having a running game?" No, I can't. Nor do I believe we have to.

Do what works. If that means throwing on 3rd and 1, do it. If that means using wide receiver screens as runs, do it too. Just don't keep shoving square pegs into non-existent holes.